| Are you, your child, or anyone to whom you are | | | | Here are a 3 common "illusions" that affect our self |
| close suffering from low self esteem? If so, you | | | | esteem and some questions to challenge these |
| want to build it up but you don't how? Learning to | | | | illusions and bring us back to reality. |
| identify if something is fact or opinion is a powerful | | | | We have the illusion that we ARE failures when we |
| tool to build self esteem. | | | | fail a few times. Challenge this illusion and ask |
| Firstly, understand the difference between a fact and | | | | yourself, "Is a successful person ALWAYS successful |
| an opinion. A fact is something that actually exists. | | | | and NEVER fails?" (Remember; Wilt Chamberlain and |
| There is no way to argue with it. An opinion, on the | | | | Michael Jordan, two of the greatest N.B.A. stars, had |
| other hand, is... only an opinion. It is "a belief or | | | | 30.1% lifetime averages. This means that they failed |
| judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to | | | | to put the ball in the hoop 69.1% of the time!!) |
| produce complete certainty (dictionary.com). | | | | We have the illusion that we are not worthy when |
| Therefore even if we feel that a certain opinion of | | | | people ignore us. Challenge this illusion and ask |
| ourselves is right, the truth is that it might very well | | | | yourself, "Have YOU ever been engrossed in |
| not be. | | | | something or you were simply in a bad mood and |
| Self esteem is ruined when we confuse these two | | | | ignored someone whom YOU think is truly worthy of |
| terms and we treat opinions about ourselves as if | | | | attention?" |
| they are facts. A person who loses his job or a child | | | | We have the illusion and "mind-read" that people think |
| who flunks a test is a fact. However that any of | | | | badly of us. Challenge this illusion and ask the simple |
| these two "facts" mean that they are not capable, | | | | question, "Can you prove this?" |
| stupid, or are "losers" isn't a fact but an opinion. It is | | | | Fact or opinion? Learn the difference, practice to |
| quite possible that the person who lost his job is | | | | separate the two, and internalize the difference until |
| very capable but his place of work is facing | | | | it becomes second nature and you will find that your |
| bankruptcy. It is also possible that the student is | | | | self esteem will eventually soar! |
| smart but lazy. Etc. | | | | |