| Parents frequently ask me what they should look for | | | | characteristics that children must develop and |
| when they are selecting care for their youngsters | | | | maintain to become their best possible selves. |
| when they must be away at work. The answer to | | | | Hint 1: Using positive child guidance rather than |
| this question depends on their expectations, | | | | punishment assists children in developing emotional |
| requirements, scheduling needs, and budget for care. | | | | regulation and appropriate social behaviors without |
| In this article I have composed a list of parents' most | | | | delivering the message to children that they are |
| commonly asked questions along with answers from | | | | unlovable, inherently bad, worthless, and will never be |
| a professional standpoint. I will also provide some | | | | able to achieve their own goals in life, or be |
| basic information about early childhood so that | | | | successful in life. |
| parents can make an educated decision about who | | | | Hint 2: The consequence of positive child guidance is |
| they choose to care for their children when they | | | | that children develop appropriate social skills, learn the |
| must be away from them. | | | | appropriate ways to regulate their emotions, develop |
| First, it must be noted that there are two types of | | | | healthy self-starting behaviors, and hone healthy |
| care for young children: 1) There is care that is | | | | effective cognitive skills while establishing healthy |
| meant to keep children healthy and safe; and 2) | | | | self-esteem and self-concept. Punishment does the |
| There is care that is meant to keep children healthy | | | | opposite of positive child guidance. |
| and safe while simultaneously providing educational | | | | Q6. Can you give us an example of positive child |
| opportunities that prepare children for formal | | | | guidance versus discipline? Yes. In positive child |
| educational settings (K-12th grade) and everyday life. | | | | guidance we simply tell the child what we want them |
| Second, parents need to understand that at birth the | | | | to do. In punishment we tell the child what we don't |
| brain is not fully developed. In fact, a tremendous | | | | want them to do, and often times, even without |
| amount of learning occurs during early childhood (birth | | | | physically harming a child, adults may make |
| to age seven years). Consequently, the type of care | | | | statements that leave children feeling badly about |
| parents choose, whether the care is for the health | | | | themselves. Psychological abuse is defined as |
| and safety of children or whether the care is to | | | | behaving in a manner that leaves children feeling |
| include educational opportunities, the primary | | | | worthless, and perhaps fearful of making mistakes. |
| caretaker should, at the very least, understand and | | | | Children who are fearful of making mistakes are |
| use "best practices" for developing healthy children. | | | | afraid to explore, create, or think outside of the box |
| Child development specialists view and use empirical | | | | for fear of being put down. Exploration, creativity, |
| research to describe best practices. Best practices | | | | and making mistakes are all a part of life and learning, |
| are shown to be those that address the | | | | and have led to virtually every convenience used by |
| developmental needs of the "whole child." The "whole | | | | mankind. |
| child" consists of 5-distinct selves, and each of the | | | | Imagine a young child climbing up on a chair. He |
| selves must learn specific skills in order for children to | | | | stands there and the entire room looks very |
| reach their full potential. These selves include: 1) the | | | | interesting. Perhaps he begins to jump off of the |
| cognitive self - the part of the child that thinks, | | | | chair and onto the floor. "Wow" he thinks to himself, |
| solves problems, makes judgments, and perceives or | | | | this is fun. The teacher or parent walks in and |
| interprets information. Each of these tasks requires | | | | becomes upset for a variety of reasons. The chair |
| specific skills that are developed during early | | | | isn't to be used as a jumping board; the child might |
| childhood; 2) the creative self - the part of the child | | | | get hurt; and perhaps the adult is already upset at |
| that creates something new out of already existing | | | | something else in life that has nothing to do with the |
| materials. Today, in America, creativity is grossly | | | | child's behavior. Nevertheless, the adult snaps and |
| undervalued, yet cures for diseases, solving our | | | | begins asking the child "What's wrong with you? How |
| nation's most complex problems, and every | | | | many times do I have to tell you? Don't you know |
| convenience used by mankind are the result of | | | | how to listen?" These types of statements imply |
| creativity. Children must be given materials that allow | | | | that there is a problem with the child. |
| them opportunities to create their own masterpieces, | | | | Using positive child guidance, allows adults to assist |
| without being criticized, if adults want them to grow | | | | children in constructing knowledge that is useful at |
| up and think outside of the box; 3) the emotional self | | | | other times in their lives. In positive child guidance |
| - the part of the child that feels (sad, happy, | | | | boundaries and limits for children are set, and the |
| frustration, anger, etc.). Children learn to control their | | | | reasons for the boundaries and limits, depending on |
| emotions, or they fail to learn to control their | | | | the age of the child, may also be discussed. This |
| emotions, during early childhood. The primary | | | | process allows children to develop cognitive skills |
| caretakers of young children have much to do with | | | | about safety or appropriateness of behaviors, and |
| whether they develop appropriate emotional | | | | allows children an opportunity to make better choices |
| regulatory skills; 4) the social self - the part of the | | | | for themselves. When children make better choices |
| child that interacts with others. Children learn both | | | | the environment (adults, other children) respond in |
| appropriate and inappropriate social skills from their | | | | positive ways and these responses send the |
| primary caretakers during childhood; 5) the physical | | | | message that the child is competent, worthy, & |
| self - the part of the child that navigates the body | | | | lovable. When humans believe that others have |
| through the physical world. Physical skills include | | | | positive perspectives of them, healthy self-esteem, |
| crawling, walking, running, writing, coloring, drawing, | | | | self-concept, and self-efficacy are established. |
| etc. These skills begin in infancy and build on each | | | | The primary problems with punishment and time outs |
| other. Therefore, the early physical skills are critical to | | | | are that children are berated for their choices and, |
| developing the physical skills of tomorrow. Naturally, | | | | worse, children are often not told why their choices |
| young children also have physical & biological needs | | | | are inappropriate and are not given opportunities to |
| such as nourishment, medical care, adequate | | | | make better choices. Some adults feel that they |
| grooming, and a safe and warm environment. | | | | should not need to explain anything to children |
| The various skills associated with each of the five | | | | because "after all I am the adult and the child is just |
| selves begin developing during early childhood. These | | | | a child." But this thought actually reflects the failure of |
| skills are developed through the opportunities that | | | | adults to respect children's feelings, needs, |
| primary caretakers provide to children during the | | | | temperaments, frustrations, and natural inclination to |
| early years of development. Primary caretakers are | | | | investigate the world they live in. In addition, this |
| the models for children and the ways in which | | | | thought and other similar thoughts assume that |
| primary caretakers respond to the various needs of | | | | children are miniature adults who understand the |
| young children, including their misbehaviors and their | | | | world and know how to effectively and appropriately |
| mistakes, actually deliver powerful messages to | | | | deal with their emotions and exploration tendencies. |
| children. These messages can have positive or | | | | Examples of punishment versus positive child |
| negative effects on the brain development of | | | | guidance: 1) A child is standing in a chair. Using |
| children; AND these effects have long-term | | | | punishment adults make statements such as: "What |
| consequences for children. The information children | | | | is wrong with you? You know that is unsafe. How |
| learn about themselves (e.g., I am competent versus | | | | many times do I need to tell you not to stand in the |
| I am incompetent) from their primary caretakers | | | | chair. You aren't listening you need to go to the time |
| during early childhood development become hard | | | | out chair. Don't stand in the chair you'll get hurt." 2) |
| wired into their brains and set the foot print for their | | | | Using positive child guidance adults make statements |
| entire life span. A common mistake that is made by | | | | such as: "I need you to sit in the chair so you will be |
| parents is to believe that their young infant only | | | | safe. You can sit down on your own or I can help |
| needs someone to feed them, change their diaper, | | | | you." While making these types of statements the |
| and keep them safe while parents are away. While | | | | adult is walking over to the child, ready to help the |
| these caretaking tasks are important for the physical | | | | child sit down if the child doesn't make the choice to |
| needs of children, these behaviors alone do not | | | | do it on his own. Next, adults may say something |
| provide appropriate care for the cognitive, creative, | | | | such as, "I know it is fun being up high but I want |
| emotional, and social needs of developing children. | | | | you to be safe. If you want I can stand next to you |
| FAQ | | | | while you stand on the chair and look around." |
| Q1. What is the difference between childcare and | | | | There are many statements that can be made that |
| preschool/educare? While these definitions may vary | | | | help children do what we want them to do yet do |
| slightly most will agree that childcare is primarily | | | | not destroy their inquisitive nature. Parents should |
| designed to care for the health and safety of | | | | observe caretakers and teachers to make certain |
| children. Preschool/educare is meant to provide care | | | | that they use positive child guidance rather than |
| for the health and safety of children while | | | | punishment. Observations should be for long time |
| simultaneously providing carefully planned curricula | | | | periods and during different times of the day. This will |
| that prepare children for formal educational settings | | | | give parents an idea as to whether caretakers and |
| (grades K- 12th grade) and real life situations. Many | | | | teachers use positive child guidance with all of the |
| people believe that preparing children for formal | | | | children all of the time, even when several children |
| education means teaching youngsters the alphabet, | | | | are "misbehaving." |
| numbers, and simple shapes, yet this is only partly | | | | Q4. How do I select a high quality preschool/educare |
| true. Youngsters need to learn appropriate social skills | | | | or childcare facility? Today approximately twelve |
| and emotional regulation in order to succeed in formal | | | | million children receive care outside of their family |
| classrooms settings, educational institutions, and in | | | | homes, yet, only 1 in 7 preschool and childcare |
| everyday life. To the extent children are able to | | | | facilities are considered to be high quality. In the state |
| master cognitive (thinking), creative, emotional, social, | | | | of California, both Family in Home Care Providers and |
| and physical skills is the extent to which they are able | | | | Preschool Centers are required to have a license |
| to successfully navigate through formal educational | | | | which is issued by Community Care Licensing. This |
| settings. | | | | license is provided to a Home or Preschool once |
| Q2. Who qualifies to work as a preschool/educare | | | | minimum health & safety guidelines have been |
| teacher? Each state is different so it is important to | | | | demonstrated (each person living in the Home or |
| contact your state's local branch of the Office of | | | | employed by the Preschool has passed a criminal |
| Education to learn about the specific requirements for | | | | background check by the FBI; sharp objects, toxic |
| the state in question. In the state of California those | | | | items are locked away, etc.). Family providers must |
| who earn a California Pre-K Credential, also referred | | | | have a current CPR training completion card, and |
| to as a, Permit, qualify to work as preschool | | | | Health & Safety training Certificate, but there are NO |
| teachers by 1) earning a degree in Early Childhood | | | | educational coursework, certificates of completion, or |
| Education; or 2) completing specific coursework in | | | | work experience required. Preschools are mandated, |
| Early Childhood Education and completing a specific | | | | however, by the state to hire Pre-K Credentialed |
| number of days/hours of work experience in a | | | | Teachers if the teacher will be left alone with children. |
| licensed Early Childhood Education facility. | | | | Although it is not required by the state of California |
| Training and education of Pre-K Teachers is expected | | | | at this time, there are a growing number of nannies |
| to foster knowledge on several fronts: 1) child | | | | and Family Providers who hold Pre-K Credentials and |
| development, typical & atypical; 2) identify long-term | | | | or Degrees in the field. This is great for families who |
| & short-term educational goals for children's cognitive, | | | | are in need of care and/or education for their |
| creative, emotional, social, and physical development; | | | | youngsters because there are many more choices |
| 3) write monthly, weekly, and daily lesson plans; 3) | | | | available to them. With more options, parents have a |
| design curricula that is interesting to children, fun, and | | | | better chance to find the care and or education that |
| educational; 4) use appropriate forms of positive child | | | | fits best with the needs of their family. |
| guidance to set boundaries for children; 5) work with | | | | Whether families select a Family Provider, Preschool |
| families as a member of a team; and 6) develop a | | | | Center, or Nanny to care for their families' needs |
| profound sensitivity and ability to work with children | | | | they should ask those who will spend the most |
| of various abilities, temperaments, and personalities. | | | | significant time with their children some questions |
| In all of these areas teachers are taught those | | | | about their training in Early Childhood Education; |
| empirically supported strategies that are shown to | | | | knowledge about the effects of adult behaviors on |
| promote rather than impede children's learning, even | | | | early brain development, and whether the teacher or |
| when children become frustrated, have difficulty, or | | | | adult spending time with their children uses positive |
| engage in misbehaviors. | | | | child guidance or punishment (pose questions such as, |
| There are 4-levels of Preschool Teachers in the state | | | | "What would you do if my child stood on the |
| of California. Levels 3 & 4 also require coursework in | | | | counter?"). |
| general education. | | | | Below are some sample questions: |
| · level 1 - Assistant Pre-K Teachers have completed | | | | · What level of the Pre-K Credential/Permit do you |
| 108 hours of education in early childhood studies. | | | | hold? |
| · level 2 - Associate Pre-K Teachers have | | | | · What is the effect of punishment on the |
| completed 216 hours of education in early childhood | | | | developing brain? |
| studies. | | | | · What are your long-term goals for my child (what |
| · level 3 - Pre-K Teachers have completed 432 | | | | does the teacher expect your child to be able to do |
| hours of education in early childhood studies and | | | | cognitively, creatively, emotionally, socially, and |
| approximately 287 hours in general education | | | | physically by the end of the year? |
| coursework (e.g., college level English, college level | | | | · What types of curricula do you use to develop |
| math, etc.) | | | | each of the above skills? |
| · level 4 - Pre-K Teachers have completed 432 | | | | · What will you say to my child when his or her |
| hours of education in early childhood studies, | | | | behavior is seen as inappropriate? |
| approximately 287 hours in general education | | | | · How many parent-teacher conferences will be |
| coursework, and additional coursework in a | | | | given within a year? |
| specialized area of early childhood studies (e.g. infant | | | | · How many authentic assessments is done on my |
| toddler, children with special needs, school age, etc.). | | | | child each day or week? Are these included in the |
| Note: Level 2 and beyond are allowed to be alone | | | | parent-teacher conference? |
| with the children enrolled in their classrooms, and are | | | | · Will there be an electronic version of the |
| responsible for curricula development and | | | | parent-teacher conference sent to me? |
| implementation in Pre-K settings. | | | | · Will I receive samples of my child's work with |
| Q3. Why is the level of education and training | | | | interpretations that explain my child's development? |
| important when selecting or interviewing a Pre-K | | | | Parents should write down the responses to the |
| teacher for your child? School readiness curricula is | | | | questions they pose to caretakers or teachers and |
| carefully planned, implemented through playful | | | | then observe often to determine whether they |
| activities, and designed to provide opportunities for | | | | practice what they reported about their behaviors. |
| young children to develop effective: 1) cognitive, 2) | | | | Parents who have a desire to help their children |
| creative, 3) emotional, 4) social, and 5) physical skills. | | | | develop a profound respect for different cultures |
| Skilled Pre-K teachers understand how to help children | | | | should review the books and curricula used in the |
| view their mistakes as opportunities, and how to use | | | | home or facility. Some issues to consider include: |
| children's misbehaviors as chances to facilitate | | | | · Are there families with different abilities portrayed |
| children's development of appropriate social behaviors, | | | | in books? |
| and emotional regulation. Well educated and trained | | | | · Are families and people of different sizes |
| Pre-K teachers understand that adults who interact | | | | portrayed in books? |
| with children actually shape their brains for their entire | | | | · Is the art work on the walls reflective of a |
| life span. | | | | multicultural world? |
| Q4. What is the relationship between parent-child | | | | Q6. How do I know whether it is best to hire a |
| interactions and teacher-child interactions and the | | | | Nanny, place my child with a Family in home provider, |
| child's developing brain? A child's brain develops | | | | or select a Preschool Center? Children are different |
| mostly between the ages of birth and age 7 years. | | | | from each other and families should understand that |
| During this time period the young developing brain is | | | | there is not a one size fits all when it comes to |
| similar to the hard drive of a computer. Those adults | | | | selecting appropriate care and/or education for their |
| who spend the most time with young children (e.g., | | | | youngsters. First, each family must decide whether |
| parents, caretakers, teachers, etc.) have the most | | | | they prefer childcare only, or childcare and education. |
| influence on the developing brain. It is these adults | | | | Second, each family must decide whether their child |
| who teach the child, intentionally or unintentionally, | | | | has the temperament to do better in their own |
| that he or she is lovable, worthy, and capable of | | | | home, a small family environment, or a larger |
| success in a variety of situations and settings. In | | | | preschool setting. Sometimes families do not know |
| other words, the adults who spend the most time | | | | what works best for their child until the child begins |
| with children are the programmers of the developing | | | | this journey. Relax, nothing is set in stone. Families |
| brain. Due to the nature of the brain, it is nearly | | | | who discover that the selection they made does not |
| impossible to deprogram early learning. Parents, | | | | work as well as they anticipated are able to change. |
| caretakers, and teachers who are punitive (e.g., | | | | Sometimes, children outgrow a situation that has |
| shame, blame, humiliate, embarrass, and degrade | | | | worked well for a long time. |
| children) are hard wiring them to believe that they | | | | Sometimes the choice between hiring a nanny, |
| are useless, worthless, bad, and that something is | | | | selecting a family in home provider, or selecting a |
| wrong with them. To sum, the hard wiring of the | | | | preschool center has nothing to do with a child's |
| brain, sets the footprint for the child's entire life span! | | | | temperament but everything to do with the parents |
| Q5. What is the difference between positive child | | | | preference, work schedule, and/or finances. |
| guidance and punishment? First, it is important to | | | | Remember, there are high quality nannies, family |
| recognize that when children misbehave there is a | | | | providers, and preschool facilities. And the opposite is |
| goal for their misbehavior. Whether children have a | | | | also true. To know what you are getting parents |
| physical or emotional need that is not being met or | | | | should ask questions of the primary teachers or |
| whether they are exploring their environment | | | | caretakers of their children; parents should drop in |
| because they want to learn about it, these are all | | | | often and observe the behaviors of teachers or |
| reasons that children's behaviors are, at times, | | | | caretakers before enrolling their child in any settings. |
| unsafe, annoying, or inappropriate. While caretakers | | | | After enrollment occurs, parents should initially stay |
| of children need to keep them safe, help them learn | | | | with their child in the setting they have chosen to |
| appropriate social behaviors, and assist them in | | | | assist their child in building "trust" with their primary |
| developing emotional regulation, it is important that | | | | and secondary (assistant teachers) caretakers and/or |
| adults accomplish these tasks while protecting | | | | teachers. Children who have a difficult time in a larger |
| children's self-esteem, self-worth, self-concept, | | | | setting may do better in a smaller setting or with a |
| efficacy, autonomy, industry, and a host of other | | | | smaller group of children. |